4:58pm: i wish my life was like
- howl's moving castle
- a cute-ass asian music video

4:27pm: fuck you professor windle
Not a real entry, I just want to remember how pissed I am right now at a later date.

[4:23:54 PM] V: I GOTTA RANT FOR A SECOND
[4:24:10 PM] V: MY ASSHOLE MATH TEACHER DIDNT TAKE MY DAMN HOMEWORK BECAUSE I WAS THREE MINUTES LATE TO CLASS
[4:24:14 PM] V: I WAS TAKING A FUCKING FRENCH TEST
[4:24:25 PM] V: AND THE ASSHOLE WAS LIKE "THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE 3 FREE HOMEWORKS"
[4:24:39 PM] V: BULLSHIT MAN, HE IS SO LUCKY I DONT OWN A DAMN GUN
[4:24:51 PM] V: AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY I HOPE KARMA KICKS HIS ASS
[4:25:17 PM] V: I WANT HIS GRANDMA OR DOG (BECAUSE ALL GUYS LOVE THEIR DOGS) OR ROOMMATE TO DIE
[4:25:21 PM] V: AND THEN HAUNT HIS ASS
[4:25:37 PM] V: AND IF HE HAS NONE OF THE FOLLOWING, I JUST WANT TO LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I ASKED JESUS CHRIST
[4:25:44 PM] V: TO STRIKE HIS ASS WITH THUNDER
[4:26:09 PM] V: AND I PROMISED THAT IF HE DIED/ENDED UP IN THE ICU, I WOULD DEF BECOME A CHRISTIAN FOR GOOD
[4:26:21 PM] V: NONE OF THAT 'I MIGHT BE INTERESTED' CRAP EITHER
[4:26:22 PM] V: FORREAL
[4:26:25 PM] V: THAT IS ALL.
[4:26:28 PM] V: BYE

CURSE WORD COUNT: 11
MOST USED CURSE WORD: ASS

6:40pm: I keep thinking to myself, "man, I wish I had a computer with me so I could write this all down" when a random idea pops into my head. I, of course, have no computer to do so and the idea moves on soon enough. I hate that. I wish that the moment I have that unexpected urge to be creative that everything I could possibly need to make that artwork or literary piece come true was in my hand and working. I love that synchronized flow of everything just falling into place.

I also have that horrible, sneering person in the back of my thoughts telling me I'm a failure -that whatever I do may seem magical, beautiful, and perfect now but once I come out of my trance and find myself back in the real world that I won't understand what it is that I have done. I will question why I did what I did and where things came from. I'll tell myself I haven't made a masterpiece, not even one in the making. Is this how artists feel? How do film directors keep that adrenaline and spirit alive for so long when making a film? Is it because that is their life and job? It must be wonderful to always have your mind busy with your creation. It's like being in love for the first few months -it occupies your every thought and just thinking about it makes you light headed and open.

I wonder if every time I have that inspired feeling inside of me whether I'm suppressing something natural. When I do, I later tell myself that everyone has that creative spirit in them. Whether they vent it like I do (writing and drawing) or not (dancing, sculpting, and so forth) is unimportant because in all, nobody wants to hear what the other has to say because they are so absorbed in their own inspiration. If the suppression of this spirit is so easy, is that the only thing that separates me and Picasso? Or was he naturally better to do art?

In all, is the reason I'm not great because I don't give myself entirely in fear of failure? Should I keep spreading myself thin over so many subjects when I know I cannot be great in it all? I am scared of going all in.

4:59pm: important notes



It's such an embarrassment to realize your former best friend trying to justify betrayal and a honest lack of trust. Who knew to be cared about was a burden for your best friend?

I honestly could have been worse. I could have told her she was bigger than her sister because she lacked the drive and gave up before she even got started. I could have told her she never had a love interest because she was socially awkward. I could have told her I pitied her sometimes because while I wasn't academically better than her, I was blessed in so many other ways. I have never and will never call her an 'ugly piece of crap' because I don't think she is.

I did miss her and sometimes I still do. She was like a mentor whenever I had questions. It's too bad that every time I think about the positive things (like our shared love of art/crafts or our chosen careers in science) that I have to realize how twisted she has become.

I know my mistake now. I knew our friendship was declining and I ignored it and hoped for the best anyways. When we first got into this fight, I didn't understand why she'd put a stupid thing like living arrangements, her mother's disapproval, or her stress over our friendship. It wasn't as if my mother wasn't just as worried or I wasn't stressed out either.

In all, I totally understand the situation now. It was simply a difference in value in each other. I was simply too big of a burden to her and our friendship wasn't worth it. I've learned from both her and Tracy that the better the friendship, the worst the fight. I hope I can find a best friend that values loyalty and trust just as much as I do. I'm not looking forward to having to turn my head every time we are in the same room, but if that is the way she wants it, so be it. I'm not going to wish her anything good in the future because if she deserves it, she'll get it.

6:18pm: MY TOP TEN FAVORITE DS GAMES
(IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

1) TETRIS
A CLASSIC. I ACTUALLY PREFER TO PLAY IT ON MY DS RATHER THAN MY COMPUTER.

2) PHOENIX WRIGHT (ACE ATTORNEY, JUSTICE FOR ALL, & TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS)
ONE THING THAT REALLY, REALLY BOTHERS ME ABOUT THE GAME IS DURING THE TRIAL WRIGHT IS TO THE JUDGE'S RIGHT AND THE PROSECUTOR IS TO THE JUDGE'S LEFT. HOWEVER, WHEN IT ZOOMS OUT THE COURTROOM, WRIGHT AND THE PROSECUTOR HAVE EXCHANGED SPOTS. STUPID, BUT IT REALLY BUGS ME. OTHER THAN THAT AND HAVING MULTIPLE EVIDENCE TO PROVE THE SAME THING (BUT STILL GETTING A PENALTY), THE GAME IS AWESOME.

3) POKEMON DIAMOND
I REALLY LIKE GROWING BERRIES, BUT I HATE HOW I ALMOST ALWAYS GET A NET GAIN OF 1 BERRY FOR EACH PLANT. THIS IS THE PRIMARY REASON WHY LATELY I HAVEN'T BEEN PLAYING IT.

4) BRAIN QUEST GRADE 5 & 6
THE WORST GRAPHICS EVER. IF YOU ARE NOT AMUSED WITH WEIRD TRIVIA, DO NOT GET THE GAME.

5) COOKING MAMA 2: DINNER WITH FRIENDS
SO CUTE. THE ONLY REAL "PROBLEM' I HAD WITH THE GAME WAS THE 'SEPARATE THE EGG' ACTIVITY. IT WAS HARD TO UNDERSTAND THE FIRST COUPLE OF TIMES (FOR ME AT LEAST), THE REST OF THE GAME IS A BREEZE. I LOVE MAMA'S ACCENT!

6) MARIO PARTY DS
I REALLY ENJOYED THIS FOR AWHILE, BUT THEN THE GAMES GOT REPETITIOUS AND IT REALLY BUMMED ME OUT. THE NINTENDO GAME CUBE MARIO PARTY 7 IS WAY BETTER IN MY OPINION.

7) PROFESSOR LAYTON AND THE CURIOUS VILLAGE
THE TWO MAIN CHARACTERS ARE VERY CUTE, I LOVE THEIR VOICES. I ESPECIALLY ENJOYED THE SMALL VIDEOS DURING MAJOR EVENTS. THE PUZZLES ARE REALLY HARD...THEY AREN'T THE USUAL 'A FARMER HAS TO GET ACROSS THE RIVER WITH A FOX, CHICKEN, AND A BAG OF CORN' PUZZLES EITHER. I ONLY CHEATED ON THREE OF THE PUZZLES!

8) BIG BRAIN ACADEMY
THE STRANGE GRAPHICS AND LOUD COLORS ARE FORGIVABLE BECAUSE BRAIN AGE IS IN BLACK AND WHITE. I ALSO LIKE THE VARIETY OF METHODS USED TO TEST CERTAIN SUBJECTS.

9) DINER DASH: SIZZLE & SERVE
BAG GRAPHICS, BUT I HAVE THIS OBSESSION WITH DINNER DASH SO I COULD LIVE WITH IT.

10) MARIO KART DS
I LOVE RACING AND THIS WAS ACTUALLY A CHALLENGE FOR ME...MOSTLY BECAUSE I AM ONLY MODERATELY GOOD.

12:04pm: I don't know where the phrase 'fuck my life' came from, but it is one of the most irritating things I have ever heard in my life.

I think the reason why I hate it so much is because of its ability to kill 3+ birds with one stone. It's like saying 'I give up,' 'I am lazy,' and 'I have no confidence in myself whatsoever' at the same time. It is a turducken -a complaint inside a whine inside a emo kid. I seriously cannot believe how efficient it is in making me cringe. I instantaneously dislike anyone who says it. So far I hate a blonde chick, a random guy, a close friend, and an acquaintance. I have also noticed that most of the people I have heard use the phrase are females. Maybe it is one of those situations that proves males are more physical and females are more verbal. Maybe a guy's way of saying 'fuck my life' without actually doing so is wanking off or taking a good nap.

I just wish all the kids would go back to saying acronymns like 'WTF' and 'LOL.'
You know, the simpler days when phrases had one purpose and one meaning.

5:25pm: review: Starbucks VIA Italian Roast
REVIEW

Starbucks VIA Italian Roast

Description:

A big, bold, full-bodied cup of coffee, with an aroma that lingers all day.

We know. We say the words "instant coffee" and you immediately think of something lifeless and flat. No smell. Even less taste.

We're about to change all that. Now you can enjoy our bold and roasty-sweet Italian Roast in an instant. Just tear open a pack of Starbucks VIA™ Ready Brew and add water. Let the coffee brew 10 seconds, stir, breathe it all in and enjoy.

Packaging: 7 out of 10 

12:22pm: review: Almay Makeup Remover Towelettes
REVIEW

Almay Makeup Remover Towelettes (25 ct.

)

Description:
With Aloe, Cucumber & Green Tea

• 100% fragrance free
• Hypoallergenic
• Won't clog pores
• Dermatologist tested
• Ophthalmologist tested

Nourishes skin as it gently removes even long wearing and waterproof makeup
Soft, thick towelette instantly lifts away even the most stubborn makeup without irritation in one quick, easy step
Infused with a botanical blend of aloe, cucumber and green tea to condition, hydrate and soothe skin

First Ten Ingredients: Aqua (Water), Cetearyl Isononanoate, Cetearyl Alcohol, Ceteaeth-20, Glycerin, Cucumis Sativus (Cucumber) Fruit Extract, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract, Camellia Sinens Leaf Extract, Glyceryl Disteaate, Benzoic Acid, Ceteareth-12

Packaging: 7 out of 10

5:25pm: review: GAP Body Sugar Snap Body Mist
REVIEW

GAP Body: Sugar Snap Body Mist

Description: Sheer, Dewy, Tender

A fragrant mist perfect for everyday. A playful, feminine spirit. Embrace the moment with this tantalizing blend of pear flower and dew-drenched lotus, grounded by creamy white woods and a dash of musk.

First Ten Ingredients: SD Alcohol 40B, Water, Fragrance/Parfum, Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) Seed Extract, Silybum Maianum (Milk Thistle) Extract, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Tocopherol (Vitamin E), Ascorbyl Palmitate (Vitamin C), Retinyl Palmitate (Vitamin A), PEG-75 Shea Butter Glycerides

Packaging: 9 out of 10

4:58pm: haul
Black Friday

I sat on the floor outside a Fry's all night and then went to the mall...this is what I've got to show for it.

@ FRY'S
Emprex 16GB USB 2.0 Flash Drive (not including a 5.00 rebate): 14.99
Buffalo 500 GB TURBO USB 2.0: 59.99
MACH SPEED GENESIS 2GB VIDEO MP3 PLAYER: 19.00
PIXXO 4GB MP4 RECHARGABLE BATTERY: 29.99


SAMSUNG L200 RED 10.1 MEGAPIXEL DIGITAL CAMERA 3X ZOOM: 67.00
TOTAL: 206.73

@ EXPRESS

Pleated Satin Clutch (originally 29.50, now on sale for 17.70)

Pleated Facil Clutch (originally 34.50, now on sale for 20.70)


Mystery Purse That Isn't On Their Website!

I think I lost the receipt at home...but each purse was less than 18.00 and I got two free express lounge pant with my purchases! I'm planning to gift the clutches on Christmas, but I'm not sure yet. I'm becoming really attached to the Pleated Facil Clutch!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I didn't buy this on Black Friday, but I wanted to post about this jacket I got at Classic Closeouts for 12.99. My friend was ordering a puffer jacket from the site and it was so cheap I took a look around too. With a free S&H code and no tax, I really couldn't resist. So fast forward to the day I got my package...WTH. It was totally ripped up. I don't know whether they were playing soccer with my package or what have you, but there was this huge gash. Luckily, the jacket wasn't damaged so whatever. Like it says on the website, the tag on the inside is labeled as medium, but it was actually a small. The only problem I have with the thing is that it smelt funny. It smelt like it had been sitting in a warehouse or an old person's house for a few years. Musty. Other than that, I think I got a great deal. So I'm going to run it through the washer and wear it on cold nights. BTW, the chick in the picture has the nastiest hair, sorry.

10:52am: parents
I think I'm moving past that teenager stage and am seriously becoming an adult. College has really made me appreciate my parents -especially my dad. In the past, my cousins would convince me that my father was the worst and meanest because he screamed and spanked us. I believed them for the longest time...decades for christ's sake. You know how kids are! So easily manipulated. (BTW, I do believe in spanking. I say hit 'em every once in awhile. Show them who is the boss. Just make sure you don't break anything, hahaha! But seriously, spanking made me wise up FAST. I didn't break things or steal glittery crap as often!)


When I finally did hit my teen years, I think I was aware of what my dad doing for me everyday (cooking, working, and that junk), but I couldn't appreciate or understand it like I do now. I know my father didn't have a good dad, but he is doing his best and I really do love him for it.

I suppose I should be hugging him or telling him I love him more often, but my family is not the lovey-dovey type. Seriously, I'd say each member of my family cries maybe once a year or two. I mean, it takes some real deep shit for that to happen. I don't even cry to sad movies (which I'm very proud of btw)! We just don't like showing any feelings besides the usual happy, sleepy, pissed off, hungry, and bored. So lately I've been showing him I love him by helping him. I'll load his mp3 player with Bengali songs or offer to do something for him. Ah, I can't wait until this summer when I can go home and just let my parents take care of me! ♥


ON A VERY DIFFERENT SUBJECT, I totally bought a crapload during Black Friday and will probably post about it later today/this week.

9:53pm: peek-a-boo
I recently got the Logitech Quickcam Communicate STX from Amazon and I am so pleased! Easy to install, fun filters, and it fits my lappy fine.



Here are two pictures I took a few days after I got it.



I've been wanting a webcam for a long time now, especially because all of my friends with Apple Macs were video chatting without me! Anyways, Amazon lists the webcam as $53.69 but it was on sale for $28.49 when I saw it (November 10)...AWESOME, right? With 4.99 S&H, the total was 33.48. I'm so glad I didn't buy that fifty dollar webcam listed at Target.

Anyways, I've been planning my Christmas Party outfit and I have no idea what top I'm going to wear. I really want to wear some Oxfords with my red tights, but I need to get to a mall asap. I'm also questioning my navy pleated skirt...it's so cute but not very Christmas-y. I'm going to have to visit the nearest Forever 21 and get myself more cheap (but always cute) clothing. Gosh, if only I wasn't in college and spending those thousands of dollars on looking stylish.

7:53pm: I can't cook
TV Dinners

Today I came home from studying and popped a Michelina's Creamy Broccoli Alfredo Sauce with White Chicken and Fettuccine. After microwaving it for about 6 minutes, I opened it to reveal a bunch of noodles in white sauce. Well of course I wasn't going to judge, so I ate it. Had I not been watching Gossip Girl, I would have finished that tray in two minutes. To be fairly accurate, I had about three cubes of chicken and two branches of broccolli. I am so thoroughly dissappointed. Never again.

10:51pm: i wonder...
- Do I make a specific face when I'm trying to push out a fart?
- Why did I think all mirrors were actually video cameras and people were watching me 24/7 when I was little?
- How much do song writers get paid for submitting lyrics/giving lyrics to popular artists?

9:56am: shopping log
shopping log


Satin Trim Pleated Skirt in Navy: 19.80
CUTEST SHIT EVER. I don't even have to convince myself it was worth it.



F21 Basic Cap Sleeve Tee in Heather Grey: 3.50
So comfy and light weight...such basic clothing is essential.

2:43pm: shopping log
shopping log


Katie Smooth Bra in Mustang Brown
Was: 24.50 Now: 19.95
With tax, free s&h, and my coupon code...a total of 17.26! =P


Stripe Cotton Tank in Blue and Grey: 3.99
I didn't really want this one, but my mother wanted it so I'll see what I can do with it?


H81 Striped Ribbed Tank Top: 8.90 for the green & brown one I got...this pink & charcoal one is now 3.99.

4:23pm: crappy day
I knew today was going to be a crappy day. It started off with me trying to get more sleep and the cold air biting my bare skin. I tried to print out some notes before my politics lecture and the college website decided to be slow. I gave up and ate some breakfast. I studied and went to two classes. I felt like they lasted forever because when I looked at my cell phone, it was only 3 PM. I ate lunch a little while ago and come back to see my midterm grade for Bioscience I. I am so depressed. I study my ass off for that class and I got a 68. The thing was over twelve chapters and that is my grade. I am so incredibly pissed. Like, maybe I should take myself seriously when I say I'm going to become a future asian nail salon owner. Ugh. I can't even do that because I hate the smell of nail polish.

So now I'm torn. Half of me is scolding myself, telling me to study more, that I AM capable of getting an A in the class...the other half is like, 'fuck that shit, take a nap, go get some food, and play Pheonix Wright after that.'

I was studying Bioscience before I wrote this and I'm going to be do it after. But Lord Almighty, if only I could get that voice out of my head that keeps saying 'After a nap, you'll feel better and study better.'

BULLSHIT SPLEEN, I'M GOING TO WORK THIS BRAIN UNTIL IT LOOKS LIKE A PILE OF MASHED POTATOES.

9:06pm: regular rants
I got a B on my first Bioscience I Exam. The class average was a 58 and I got a 70. I don't know whether I'm proud or disappointed that I barely made an acceptable grade.

I've noticed that all of my relationships (a very high 2) have started in the Winter and ended in the Spring. It is really funny...isn't Spring suppose to be when all the wild animals are gettin' it on?

One of the most awkward everyday situation is walking past a stranger with no one else around. Friendly people will say "Good Morning" or "Hello", but 95% of the time the both of you look away and continue on. I hate doing this. I'm pretty sure a shitload of other people hate doing it too because (on my college campus at least) everyone walks with their eyes on their phones. Which brings me to another topic...do people call other people simply because they are bored or is it because they just want to look busy? There is just no way people can talk this much.

Now I know I just ranted about my Bioscience I Exam, but I watched a few episodes of the Justice League on Surf The Channel and loved it. I mean I've watched the show before but I've never really dedicated myself to finding out the overall storyline. Man, I'm glad I ran out of Venture Bros. episodes to watch because the dialogue in Justice League is so awesome. I love incredibly corny phrases. I love it when everything goes wrong and the good guys go, "Well this isn't good." I don't mean to hand out pity laughs so easily, but I can't help it.

1:02pm: newspaper editorial
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED AROUND SEPTEMBER 2007

We’re expensive, arrogant, and oblivious to the real world. We like to watch shows that are overly dramatic and plain ridiculous. We shop at the stores that everyone else our age does and always feel better after treating ourselves. We are the average teenagers –both my mother and I.

I don’t think that there was a moment when it hit me that my mother was very tuned to what was “in.” I had noticed things over time, but never really thought about how my mom acted. She had watched “American Idol” religiously (and not just the try-outs like I did), started wearing jeans, and shopped at the same stores I did. It wasn't like my mother was trying to be me; she just ended up liking teen-oriented stuff. No big deal; hey, it even benefited me in some ways —but then it started to get annoying.

( continued... )

3:12pm: why hasn't this been invented yet?
- personal assistant robots like in the movie I, Robot
- beds that teach me my classes, or at least makes it easier
- the grim reaper. when you are hated at a certain amount of intensity, you should die. Of course there should be a minimum of at least 100 people that are annoyed/hate you. i am serious. i'd love to see assholes try to get their act together.
- personal space bubble...preferably with a 'mute the world' function

2:49pm: just a thought
A few weeks ago I finished Orson Scott Card's Treason and loved it. All I could think about for days after finishing it was the story. Even now, it is still popping into my head at random times. The one thing that really stuck to me (while not significant) is how the main character (whose name I can't even remember...I think it's something with a M. Malick?) did not have to eat, piss, or rest -but did so anyways.

Why? There is pleasure in just doing those things. It really did stick to me. I mean, everyone loves to eat -that's a no brainer...but I never really realized how great it was to take a dump. To just be an animal. To think of it, I don't think I would like a life without lunch breaks, bathroom runs, and nap time. Whatever pleasure I take in these actions, I think, is at least equal (if not more) the pleasure I take in more intellectual activities.


I have a feeling I'm going to regret this entry when I'm using a walker and someone has to clean up my piss.

...and I just googled the character's name. It is Lanik Mueller. Malick is kinda close-ish, right?

3:36am: Problem Solved x2
I had Firefox 2 and for a whole half hour I tried to figure out why, all of a sudden, why ALL the images were not loading. Not even the boxes with the red x....just plain 'ole text and hyperlinks. I cleared the cookies, cache, and did some other weird stuff until I finally just uninstalled Firefox 2 and installed Firefox 3.

...and then it happened again. The stupid thing about this was I googled my problem (as always) and most people solved their problems by disabling adblock. I've gone through so many ad, spam, and virus protection programs that I didn't even know if I had the thing. They seriously all sound the same to me. Anyways, it didn't show up on my window's 'add/remove programs' list so I figured I didn't have it.

So to sum it all up: I did have adblock plus installed and after disabling it, I was good after that.

For all you people who have no freaking clue what to do and/or have the same problem, go to Tools > Add-Ons > Extensions. It should be on the list. If not, sorry...false hope.

Firefox 3 isn't that bad BTW. I (so far) only have two complaints.
1) I hate the bookmarking system though . I don't care about how many people rave about the tag system...I was organizing my shit in folders years ago.

2) The the web address bar seems to be a smart ass. For those of you who use Facebook, it's just like typing in the search bar. I hate that it brings up EVERYTHING that could possibly meet my criteria. when I type in "goo"...I get not only get my google homepage, but the last four things I searched. This is overkill to the max. We get it -you're really good at digging through our history.